Should Have Been
by FreshmenFourForever521
Summary: Everyone remembers their first love; Some more than others. A story of growing up and growing apart. One- Shot, AU-Human.


I was thirteen-years-old When I first saw Edward Cullen. It was my first day of eighth grade and I was excited because eighth graders were the oldest at our elementary school. We were officially the rulers of the school.

Forks was a small town, you see, so we only had two schools. Everyone knew everyone and their cousin, and the saying that every sixth person was related to you was never more true. Luckily for me, my flighty mother, Renee Higginbotham (I thank whoever I can every day that I didn't get her last name), was originally from Oregon, so I wasn't completely immersed in the Forks gene pool. My father Charlie was a different story. He had grown up in Forks his entire life and chose to stay there. Renee, however, didn't want to stay planted in Forks, so she left when I was three and never looked back. I haven't seen her since.

It was my first day if school and my dad was dropping me off in his police cruiser. How embarrassing. I brushed it off however when I saw my best friend, Alice Brandon, waiting for me.

"Bella! Can you believe it! We're finally at the top of the elementary food chain," Alice squealed as soon as I stepped out of the car.

"Bye, Dad," I hollered over my shoulder at him, desperate to get away from the offending vehicle.

"Bye, Charlie!" Alice yelled and waved, looking like a maniac.

I sometimes questioned why I chose her as a best friend. Her new hairstyle, short and spiky, had her midnight black hair flying in every direction. Alice was like my own personal energizer bunny, she never stopped going.

"So, I heard that there's a new kid."

"Alice, how did you already hear that? School hasn't even started yet."

She sighed impatiently. "News spreads fast. Anyways, Jessica said that he seemed really quiet when she introduced herself."

I snorted. "Yeah, I wouldn't put much stock into what Jessica says."

"Bella, are you still upset about the incident in the second grade? Come on, it was years ago, it's not like she meant to do it."

"She spilled her pudding cup in my hair! How do you do that by accident? I swear, that girl just hates me." Alice just gave me an incredulous look that said 'Did you really just say that?'. "Don't look at me like that. You know it's true."

"Bella," Alice started very seriously, "you are the biggest klutz I have ever met and I love you for it, but odds are that you played some part in it as well." I made an annoyed face, but Alice continued. "Anyway, I suppose we'll meet him eventually."

"Meet who?" I asked, now confused. My thoughts were still on the great pudding fiasco of second grade.

"The new kid of course! Who else?"

The first part of my day was a long blur of syllabi and my peers talking about our new student. Apparently, his name was Edward and he had just moved here from Phoenix, Arizona.

I was just walking out of my fourth period Spanish, when Alice skipped to my side.

"So, are you ready for lunch?" she asked, practically vibrating with excitement. Alice hadn't had any classes with this Edward kid yet either, and, as Forks never changed much, Alice was always eager to meet someone new.

"Alice, I'm sure he's going to be like every other boy you have ever met."

"But, Bella, he's from Arizona. That place is far away from Forks, so he is probably completely different from all of the boys in Forks. Plus, I heard he's tan."

"Of course he's tan, didn't you just say he was from Phoenix?" I said in a 'duh' tone.

"No, I only said he was from Arizona. See you're excited to meet him too!"

I didn't reply to her. I was annoyed that this new kid was getting so much attention. Normally I was not a vain person, but, come on he can't be that great. I suppose that in time the attention would wear off, as it eventually did when Mike got here in the fourth grade.

We walked into the cafeteria and headed straight for the main line. The permanently irritated lunch lady slapped something on my tray that looked like a cross between refried beans and my father's attempt at cooking. Not pretty.

"Yum! I've missed cafeteria food _so _much," Alice stated sarcastically as we sat down at our regular table with just us two, "I am definitely bringing a sack lunch tomorrow. Oh, Bella, I can bring us our favorite pop!"

"Yes! A & W here we come!" I said enthusiastically. Perhaps a little too enthusiastically, as a few people around us turned to look. I quickly ducked my now bright red face while Alice simply laughed. Alice and I had a strange, lengthy history with this particular brand of root beer.

Suddenly, almost all of the noise in the cafeteria stopped and everyone seemed to turn their heads in synchronization towards the direction of the doors. Curious, I looked up. Just walking in the main door was the new student with Mike Newton. Well, he had apparently already gotten in with the wrong crowd.

He had uncharacteristically red hair that allowed him to stand out amongst the rest of the student population. Even from this distance I could see that his eyes were a stunning shade of green. He was average height and seemed overall average. Alice was right, he was tan, making him be almost a complete opposite of the rest of the population of Forks.

I looked over at Alice to see her staring at him with a blank expression. "Wow, I really expected him to be more exciting."

"I told you he would be like every other male you've ever seen."

"I don't think I've seen anyone that tan other than people at summer camp."

Alice and I went to a camp every summer that, thankfully, lasted the entire summer. We had gone there every year since the summer of third grade.

"Well, maybe next time you won't get your hopes up so high."

Alice humphed at me and mumbled something that included the words "Debbie Downer".

It was finally the last day of school. Eighth grade had gone by at an unbelievingly slow pace. However, looking back now, I couldn't believe how much had changed that year, and how much more was coming. There were a few moments that stuck out to me. One of the most prominent being the first time I had ever spoken to Edward. It wasn't a long conversation by any means and, surprisingly, he had been blushing and stumbling his way through the whole time.

Throughout the rest of the year there had been the occasional "Hi" and "How are you?" that were exchanged. There were a few, but not many, conversations that had more substance to them, one of which was still embarrassing to this day.

I walked into my fifth period algebra class and sat down in my usual seat. The new kid, who wasn't so new anymore as he had been here for a couple months now, sat in the seat diagonal from mine. My friend, Angela, and I were talking about the upcoming test in Social Studies when I noticed that Edward was looking at me again. Angela excused herself to go ask Ms. Iverson a question. I looked over at Edward to see that he was looking at me and his eye was twitching funny.

Trying to be nice, I asked, "Hey Edward, is your eye okay?"

For some reason this caused him to blush a deep crimson red and look away to avoid my eyes. "No, there isn't anything wrong with my eye," he mumbled, almost incoherently.

Looking at him with a curiously, I wondered what could be so embarrassing about that. People got stuff in their eyes all the time, but apparently his was fine. So why was it twitching?

In another conversation between Edward and I that involved more than three words, I had learned that Edward's family lived just down the road from mine. After I had built up the right amount of courage I went over to Edward's new house and knocked on the door. In my hands were a plate of my specialty brownies. Straight from good ol' Betty Crocker's box. I had always seen people in movies bringing brownies and cookies over to welcome people to the neighborhood, so why shouldn't I?

The front door opened and the woman that stood in front of me looked like the most motherly person I had ever seen in my life.

"Hello, dear, what can I do for you?" Wow, she even sounded like a mom. If she could bake, Betty Crocker might have some stiff competition.

"Hi, my name is Bella Swan. I live down the road and go to school with your son, Edward. You must be Mrs. Cullen."

"Please, deary, call me Esme. My mother-in-law is Mrs. Cullen. Come inside," Esme said in such a motherly way that made me want to jump in her arms. "So, what brings you to our neck of the woods?"

"I just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood. Here, I made you some brownies," I said, practically shoving the plate in her hands. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"Oh! You shouldn't have! Thank you so much. You know it seems like I never get enough time to bake anymore, what with having two teenage boys."

"Two?" The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Yes, Edward has an older brother, Emmett. Emmett is currently a freshman at the high school."

"Wow, I didn't know that. It must be hard having two teenage boys living in the same house."

"Well, yes, there can be quite a bit of rough housing," Esme said, chuckling fondly.

I looked at my watch and noticed that it read five o' clock. "I'm so sorry, Esme, but I have to head home. I'm going to make dinner for my dad and I."

"Oh, that's okay. But, please, do come visit again soon, Bella."

After that day, Esme and I grew much closer and she would become a motherly figure in my life.

It was now the middle of my ninth grade year.

I was walking to my third period, Science. This year we got assigned partners that we had to do all of our class work and assignments with. My partner was, of course, Edward Cullen. After sitting next to him for five months I knew a lot more about him, like his favorite color – which was green - and that he couldn't wink. I had also learned that he had an irrational fear of ghosts. Seriously, that kid had absolutely refused to see any shows or movies that even mentioned paranormal activity of any kind.

As I sat down in my assigned seat, I looked over at my lab partner. Edward had hit a growth spurt and was now taller than the majority of the boys in our grade and even most of the older boys. His hair color had been slowly darkening, now it was no longer a flaming shade of red, it was more bronzy. With a shock, I realized that Edward was handsome. I had always just thought of him as Edward.

On the fifth day of school in my sophomore year Edward asked me out to a movie. There had been a lot of stumbling on his part, but no blushing, he had grown out of that. I, however, was a bright shade of red.

I had been asked out before, but never by anyone I had liked back. The most popular of my suitors was Mike Newton, a boy whose parents had apparently never taught him what the word 'no' meant.

Of course, I had stumbled over saying yes to him. I think my exact words were, "Um, s-sure. That sounds great." It was not my most intelligent moment.

On Friday of that week Edward came over to my house to pick me up for the movie. He had just gotten his license earlier that week, saving us the awkwardness of a car ride to Port Angeles with our parents.

However, even without our parents there the awkwardness was. I had heard about how uncomfortable first dates were. I had seen it in movies, and Alice had told me about the two dates she had been on, but this was just strange. At school, Edward and I had always been comfortable around each other.

As the car ride and date progressed, the conversation flowed more easily. Edward had even told me the truth about the incident in eighth grade. Apparently, his older brother told him that if he liked this, "smoking hot chick", he should try to flirt with her. Edward, not even thinking about the fact that he absolutely could not wink, tried to do so anyway and ended up feeling very embarrassed.

I, of course, found this to be very amusing. Eventually Edward joined in my laughter as well. Finally the first date awkwardness was gone. The ice was broken.

The rest of the night went on to be one of the best nights of my life. Edward had even done the highly amusing arm around the shoulder while stretching thing. We both agreed that we wouldn't kiss each other on the first date. The second date was a whole other story.

The next three years were heaven. On June 18, 2002 Edward Cullen told me the three words that every girl wanted to hear. It was a little over ten months into our relationship and I obviously professed my love for him back. That day was another of the best days of my life.

Edward and I were sitting on his bed on an average summer day. His bedroom door was, of course, open. Carlisle and Esme were usually pretty lenient when it came to rules, but anything that might lead to babies had them turning into little drill sergeants.

All day long we had been lying with our bodies entangled on the bed, whispering sappy little words to each other. It had been silent for a few minutes. Edward seemed to be deep in thought, his brow was furrowed and he was frowning slightly.

As I looked up at him, I wondered how I could have ever thought he was average looking. Edward was the most gorgeous person to ever walk the earth, inside and out.

Reaching my hand out, I tried to turn up the corners of Edward's mouth with my thumb and forefinger. The smile I made wasn't his usual crooked smile, but it got him to finally crack a real one.

A few minutes later, Edward suddenly blurted out, "Iloveyou," all in one quick, rushed breath.

For a second I just sat there, jaw practically hitting the floor. Nervously, Edward muttered, "You know, this is the part where you say something back."

I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his torso I said, "I love you too!"

This caused him to beam. I could practically see the joy rolling off of him.

"Really!"

"I love you! I love you! I love you!"

It was a few months later when our counselors at school had us all start thinking about college. Alice and her boyfriend, Jasper, had both grown up always wanting to attend UCLA. Their futures were set.

Edward's older brother, Emmett, had already been accepted to New York University. Everyone in Edward's family has gone to NYU since the school first opened. Because of this Edward was also expected to attend NYU.

I had grown up having no expectations as to which college I would attend. Charlie had attended a local community college for a year, then dropped out to join the police academy.

However, ever since I was young, I had always wanted to attend Cambridge University in the UK. I never knew why I had chosen Cambridge. I mean, it would have made more sense for me to have the same kind of aspirations as Alice did. But I was determined that I was going to study at this specific university.

All throughout high school I had maintained a 4.0 grade- point- average and taken as many Advanced Placement classes as I possibly could. I knew that Charlie could never afford to pay the tuition for any college I chose, so I made sure that I was able to get a scholarship. I had worked my butt off at two jobs during the summer months since I was fifteen. The only problem now was that I didn't want to leave Edward behind.

It was on the second of January in my senior year when I got my acceptance letter.

Edward and I were driving over to my house after our first day back to school after winter break. We were driving in Edward's shiny, silver Volvo, listening to a currently popular song by the band Green Day. Our hands were intertwined, resting on the center console.

As was routine, Edward came around to my door and helped me out. Edward and I had had the same routine the entire school year. Seriously, we acted like an old married couple. We occasionally bickered like one also.

The second part of our routine then took place: Edward would lean down to kiss me. Very chastely, of course. Just as Edward was pulling away from the kiss, I turned and walked down to the end of my driveway, towards my mailbox.

"Hey, unfair! I wasn't done with you yet, missy," Edward hollered jokingly.

"Well, I was done with you," I was, obviously, kidding. This was something that was also very common for us: teasing. Teasing that both of us knew to never take seriously.

As I pulled the mail out, I noticed something unusual. There was an envelope that was larger than all of the others. Normally these were magazine advertisements that I would throw away. But this one was different.

I looked in the direction of where I knew the address would be and froze. There, in the left corner of the envelope, was the emblem of the university that I had practically worshipped since I was in elementary school.

My denial or acceptance letter from Cambridge had arrived. I hoped it was the latter.

Edward, who had been checking something on his cell phone, looked up to see what was taking me so long. When he saw me there, staring at the envelope, he called out to me questioningly, "Bella?"

My head snapped up to look at him. This was one of the most nerve racking moments of my life. Even worse than my interview for Cambridge that had taken place the previous month.

I started walking towards the front door and Edward followed me, having no clue what was going on. I unlocked the door with shaking hands. When I stepped across the threshold, I placed the other mail on the table that was next to the door.

I walked straight into the kitchen and sat down in one of the chairs. I slapped the thick envelope down on the table. That was a good sign right? That the envelope was heavy.

Edward, who had also taken a seat, cautiously picked up the crisp, white envelope. When he saw who the letter was from understanding shone in his eyes.

"Well, are you going to open it?" Of course Edward would go for bluntness.

"I'm scared," I admitted. I knew I shouldn't be. After all, no matter what the letter said, there was nothing I could do to change it.

"How about if we open it together," Edward suggested faithfully.

"Okay."

Edward stood up and walked around the table. On the way, he grabbed the envelope. When he finally came to stand behind me, he knelt down to my level and held the package out in front of me. I grabbed the thick letter and quickly tore it open, knowing that Edward's clumsy hands wouldn't be capable of it. As soon as the final lip of the envelope tore I tossed the letter back to Edward like we were playing hot potato.

"Okay, are you ready?"

I simply nodded, still too nervous to use words.

Edward took the letter out of the envelope and quickly scanned it over. A bright smile lit his face and he whispered, "Bella," in a very lovingly fashion.

"What! Bella, what!" I said, panic rising in my chest. I didn't get in. I knew I wouldn't. How could I be so stupid! I knew I should have done more after school activities last year!

"Bella, you're in! You got accepted!"

"What?" I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. I got in?

"Bella! This is amazing," Edward yelled, picking me up from where I was sitting, frozen with shock. He hugged me around my middle, whispering loving words in my ear.

Once I had finally grasped the concept that I had been accepted, I wrapped my arms around Edward, hugging him back.

I was going to Cambridge.

In March of that same year Edward got his acceptance letter from NYU.

This all led up to me making the most difficult decision of my life. I had also applied to NYU, and I was accepted.

Did I want to go to New York with Edward? Definitely. But I didn't want to give up my dreams. I had promised myself when I was younger that I would never give up my hopes for love. I had always been a realist, but that was before I had experienced love that was all consuming.

In the end I made the decision that, at the time, I felt was the right one. I was going to attend Cambridge University.

"Come on, Bella! There is no need to be nervous! I'm sure you look fantastic," Edward hollered up the stairs to me.

The date now was May 22, 2004. It was also the day of my senior prom. Alice had spent the entire day dolling me up for the big dance.

Edward and I had gone to previous school dances, but Alice said that this final dance was going to be the most important. I had a feeling that all of my friends knew something I didn't about tonight.

On unsteady feet, I walked down the stairs that led to the Cullen family's living room. Alice skipped down ahead of me, going straight towards Jasper, whose jaw had dropped at the sight of her.

I looked towards Edward's direction. He looked stunning in his black on black suit. The dark colors gave his now pale skin a glowing affect.

As I took the final step, I landed right into Edward's arms.

"You look positively ravishing," he whispered in my ear, low enough so no one else was able to hear him.

I was wearing a black dress that looked like it had come from the 19th century. The dress had a corset that laced up in the back, then the skirt flowed down my legs freely. There were no sleeves.

The dress looked nothing like a typical prom dress, but looked exactly like Edward and I.

After many pictures were taken, everyone piled into Edward's Volvo. Jasper and Alice were sitting in the back seat, and every time Jasper tried to touch Alice she would swat his hand away, saying that he would mess up her hair or makeup. Of course, this only made Jasper more persistent.

"Hey, will you two stop it back there. I don't want my seats to end up stained," Edward called back to them jokingly.

"Why would your seats be stained?" Jasper questioned. I was wondering the same thing.

"Because Alice is about to kill you if you keep trying to mess up her outfit."

"Psh, yeah, right. This little squirt couldn't take me." This wasn't going to end well for Jasper. Despite Alice's small stature, she always seemed to win. Alice never fought physically, she always went for a more emotional battle.

"Huh, really? Fine, you aren't going to touch me at all the rest of the night then."

"Yeah, right. That isn't going to last."

I leaned over and whispered to Edward, "How much deeper do you think he could dig his hole?"

"Not much," he replied.

The rest of the night was uneventful. Alice did eventually give in and let Jasper touch her. Later that night, she said that it was only because it was her last high school dance and therefore she needed to dance. The truth was that Alice was a pushover when it came to Jasper.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

I looked up at Edward and quickly nodded my head, "Definitely."

We both turned towards the gymnasium doors and walked out.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we got in his car. Alice and Jasper would know to find another ride home.

"You'll see in a little bit," he said mysteriously.

We sat in silence for the next few minutes, when Edward suddenly turned a corner. The headlights flashed off of something shiny and I finally noticed where we were going. We were going to the park that was right outside of town. During the daytime parents brought their young kids here to play, at night it was a popular hangout place for the Forks' teenage population.

"What are we doing here?"

He didn't answer me. Instead, he grasped my hand and pulled me in the direction of the tubular slide. We both hopped up on top of the slide. Something our parents had always forbade us from doing when we were younger. It was an awkward position to be in when wearing a dress.

There were a few more still moments until Edward finally started to speak. "Bella, I know we've been avoiding the subject for the past couple months, but we have to talk about it sometime." He was avoiding eye contact and playing with the hem of my dress.

It was true, neither of us had brought up the subject of our imminent separation. Now, when I think about it, I wish that I had brought the topic up sooner. Maybe then things would have been different.

The next few hours were some of the most stressful of my life. I felt so conflicted. I had already made my choice, but now that I thought about being away from Edward, I was second guessing myself. Just thinking about being away from Edward made me feel as if there were a lead weight in my stomach.

It was around midnight, both Edward and I were silent, pondering what we had been discussing. Sometime throughout the night we had moved so that we were now sitting in a small grassy patch next to the swing set.

Edward suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out a square box. The type of box that jewelry, more specifically rings, were packaged in. Edward wordlessly placed the box so it was balancing on my knee. I sat and stared at the box for a few moments, wondering if I should open it.

Finally, I grasped the box and slowly lifted the lid. Inside, nestled between soft velvet, was a silver ring that read Edward on one side and Isabella on the other. In between our names were two gleaming sapphires, our birthstones.

"Don't worry, it's not an engagement ring. It's a promise ring. A ring that signifies that someday we will be engaged, and then married." Tears were welling in my eyes as I held my left hand out for him, "Does this mean you say yes?" he questioned eagerly.

I nodded my head, looking like a broken bobble head. Edward plucked the ring from its resting place and slid it onto my ring finger. Once the ring was secured on, he picked my hand up and delicately kissed my new jewelry.

That just made the situation all the more wonderful and confusing.

It was the middles of August when I had to say goodbye to Forks and all of the people who lived in it.

In the previous weeks, I had already said my farewells to some of my acquaintances from my school years. Some goodbyes were more difficult than others. Saying goodbye to Angela Weber, a sweet girl whom I had known since kindergarten, was definitely one of the more challenging. On the other hand, saying goodbye to Jessica Stanley had to be one of the easiest things I had ever done. Even after all these years I still held a grudge about the pudding incident.

I had already said my tearful goodbyes to my close friends, the most difficult of them being Alice, the girl, now woman, who had been my best friend since a time when we had no control over our sphincters.

Both of us had ended up bawling like banshees in each other's arms. My final night in my Forks was spent at a sleepover with Alice. One minute we had been relaxing, watching movies, drinking our favorite brand of root beer, and the next we were sobbing over the fact that I was moving to another continent.

However difficult those goodbyes were, I knew that the most challenging would be saying goodbye to Edward.

"Promise that you'll call me as soon as you're all settled in." Edward and I both knew that this would most likely be the last time either of us would see each other until next summer.

"Of course," I said, trying not to start crying, "I love you."

The dam broke and the tears started rushing down my cheeks. Edward quickly pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

Burying his face in my hair I heard him whisper the words, "I love you," over and over. After a few moments I felt his body start to shake slightly. He was trying to be strong for me by not crying, but I knew that if he was feeling the same kind of pain I was, he wouldn't be able to hold it in for much longer.

"I'll call you every day and write you letters," I promised him as my body clung frantically to his. My flight was supposed to leave in a little less than an hour, so our goodbye was going to have to end quickly.

My dad cleared his throat uncomfortably. We were standing in front of security at the airport and people who were passing by were starting to glance in our direction more frequently.

I broke away from my embrace with Edward to quickly hug the man who raised me my whole life and managed to stay strong, even after my mother left. I buried my face in my daddy's neck and whispered my love and thanks for him. He hugged me back and said terms of endearment in a rare showing of affection.

My dad, realizing that our goodbye was over, gave me a final kiss on the forehead and walked towards the doors.

The tears were still running down my face in tiny rivulets when I turned back to Edward. Again, he pulled me to his chest, this time more tightly than ever. This was it. I leaned up to kiss his lips one final time and whispered my love for him one more time, then turned my back on him and walked to security.

Once I made it through security, surprisingly quickly, I looked back to the place Edward had been standing. He was still there, watching me. Only now there were a few silent tears falling down his high cheekbones. I raised my hand to wave and give him a sad, tearful smile. He copied my actions, and I turned around and walked towards gate 23. Towards my future.

I couldn't believe how much time had passed already. It was almost Thanksgiving, meaning I had already been at college for almost four months.

I walked out of my college dorm room, all dressed up to go out for coffee with a couple a friends. Going out for coffee made me feel older, more mature. I'm not sure why, maybe the same reason I had brought Esme brownies the first time I met her: I had seen people do it on TV. Sorry, the telly. Getting used to the lingo in the UK was difficult.

As I was strolling away from the building my dorm was in I took in some of my surroundings. Everywhere I turned there were old, red brick buildings. The college I had chosen, within Cambridge, was Pembroke College. Pembroke College was smaller than most of the other colleges at Cambridge, but it was old, and that was why I chose it.

My major was History. I was a huge history nerd. Edward and Alice used to always mercilessly tease me about being such a dork, but I didn't care, history was my passion.

Thinking about Edward and Alice always made me miss Forks more than I already was. I missed the people, the food, and even the rain. Something I thought I would never miss was the rain. Britain had its fair share of rain, but nothing compared to Forks' constant overcast.

I had kept my promise to both Edward and Alice by writing constantly and calling them almost daily. But no matter how many letters I wrote, there was a strain on my relationships with friends from Forks.

Jasper and Alice had settled into life at UCLA nicely. They both talked about how much freedom they had now that they were no longer under the constant scrutiny of their parents. I had obtained a very detailed, and not very welcome, description of Alice and Jasper's first time being together. I honestly don't think I would ever be able to look at Jasper the same again.

Edward frequently talked about how much he was enjoying life at NYU. He said that he was able to spend a lot of time with Emmett and his girlfriend, Rosalie.

I was shaken out of my thoughts as I heard someone calling my name. I turned my head upward slightly and saw that I had already walked the entire way to the coffee house. There was a sign on top of the cozy black and white shop that read, 'Indigo Coffee House', the word Indigo was actually the real bluish color.

Looking over my shoulder I saw my newest close friend, Lena, running towards me. I had met Lena on my first day on campus. Her dorm was in the same building as mine, and she surprised me by knocking on my door at two in the morning saying how bored she was and that she needed someone to talk to. Ever since then we had been great friends.

Once Lena reached me she said very out of breath and puffing, "Well, there is my work out for the day." She put her arm around me to pull me in for a greeting hug.

Scoffing, I returned the gesture saying, "Yeah right Lena, you're practically skin and bones already. You don't need any more work outs."

It was true, Lena was one of the tiniest people I had ever met, weight wise. She was the type of person who could eat everything off of the McDonalds menu, twice, and not gain a single pound from it. She was average height, slightly taller than my 5'4" frame, with medium brown hair and bright, attentive blue eyes.

"So, do you know if Will was able to make it?" Lena asked. She held the door open for me as we walked into the relaxed shop. We quickly spotted our one friend waiting for us at a table near the back.

Walking towards the guy sitting alone at the table I said to Lena, "I'm not sure. He said that he had some test to study for, but who knows with him. He might have blown it off."

"Let me guess, you're talking about our dear Willy boy."

Dylan, of course. Dylan was Will's best friend and they shared a house on campus. Will and Dylan were sophomores, so they didn't have to stay in dorm rooms. They were lucky, the dorms weren't the most comfortable. Dylan was tall with dark curly hair and blue eyes. He looked a lot like Emmett before he bulked up during his senior year.

"He would seriously injure you if he caught you saying that you know," I said while Lena nodded along in agreement with me. Will hated being called anything but Will by his friends. His full name was William, but he never wanted the nick names Bill, Billy, or Willy. Especially not Willy, for obvious reasons. The only other names he allowed were cheesy pet names from his girlfriend, Felicity.

Dylan only scoffed at us and gave us an 'Oh please' look.

The rest of the night was spent chatting about nothing, but having a great time doing it. With a shock I realized how close I had become with my new friends. The only problem was, it seemed the closer I got to my new friends, the further apart I grew from my old.

By the end of my freshmen year, tensions were high in my relationship with Edward. I should have realized at the time that there were cracks in our relationship. Maybe if I had, things would have ended differently.

I had already packed everything in my dorm. I was ready to head back to Forks for the first time since I had said goodbye to it last August. It felt like a déjà vu moment saying goodbye to Lena, Dylan, and all of my other friends. Cambridge had become my home away from home, and all of the inhabitants were my family.

But, no matter how gloomy saying goodbye to my new friends was, I couldn't help but be thrilled by the fact that I would get to see Edward in less than twenty-four hours.

Edward had already returned home from New York and said he was anxiously awaiting my arrival. Alongside him on the plane ride back to Forks was Emmett and his girlfriend of almost two years, Rosalie. Edward had confided in me that if his parents approved of Rosalie, Emmett would be asking her to marry him before the summer was over.

I called Edward before I boarded my plane. He told me that he was going to be waiting at the airport when I got there. I had a layover in Boston and then it was straight to Forks. This was going to be a long trip.

By the time the seatbelt sign flickered on above my head, I was practically bouncing in my seat. I was nervous because I didn't know how Edward and I would react to each other. I knew I had changed in a year, and from what I could tell through phone conversations, Edward had also. Before we had gone our separate ways last August, many people had warned us how difficult long distance relationships were. Both of us had brushed the comments off, saying that we were different, our relationship would survive, but now I had my doubts.

When the plane doors opened I was one of the first people out the doors, even though I was sitting in the back of the plane. I was finally going to see Edward. I had no idea where I was going, but I didn't care, I just followed the big huddle of people. I ended up in the luggage claim area, and when I looked around I saw a tall, bronze haired man standing on his tip-toes looking for someone.

A smile immediately crossed my face as I sprinted in Edward's direction. As soon as he saw me, a shiny, white smile plastered to his face as he yelled my name. When we both reached each other Edward picked me up in a hug. Wrapping my arms and legs around him I heard someone walking by us say, "Oh! I love reunions! Don't you, Jerry?"

My only thought was, 'Yes, I do.'

I was surrounded by all of my closest friends from Forks. We were all sitting in the Cullen living room, Edward and I on the loveseat, while Alice and Jasper sat on the floor in front of us. I knew that Emmett and Rosalie were somewhere in the Cullen's spacious house because every once in a while I heard a laugh that reminded me of wind chimes.

Meeting Rosalie had been more frightening than I would have ever imagined. Rosalie was blonde and all legs, she had the brightest, most threatening smile I had ever seen in my life. But as it turned out, Rosalie acted the complete opposite of how she looked. She was a sweet, shy tomboy, like me, much to Alice's disappointment. But I had also learned not to say the wrong thing around her; she was defensive and loyal, especially when it came to Emmett.

I had been home for two days now and the original novelty of our reunion was wearing off. We had all been sharing stories about college life and the people we had met. They were more curious about the people and places I had experienced while I was at college. I had also found out that I had picked up a slight British accent, which Alice and Jasper thought was hilarious. Edward said that it was cute and made me seem very grown up.

Currently, we were looking at a photo album of pictures I had taken in my first week at school. As we looked through it, I noticed that there weren't any pictures of people, only the buildings and nature. Alice pulled out another one of the albums; this one was of pictures that had been taken on a warm day in March.

Alice quickly asked me who someone was. I looked down at the picture and saw Lenny's smiling face shining up at me. She and I were running around in our shorts and t-shirts. We had both been freezing, but didn't care. The snow had finally melted and we were going to celebrate it.

"That's Lenny," I responded to Alice.

"Lenny?"

"Sorry, Lena."

I had become so used to calling Lena Lenny. One cold, winter day when we were lying around in her dorm, she had decided that we both needed nick names. She ended up choosing to go the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants way, by calling me 'Bee' and herself 'Lenny'. We didn't have a Carmen or Tibby, though we both wish we knew a person who was as cool as Tibby.

They all nodded their heads in understanding; they had heard me talk about a Lena, but not a Lenny. Alice seemed bothered by this for some reason. Jealousy? Jealous that my new friend and I had nick names for each other? _No,_ I thought to myself, _Alice can't have such little faith in our friendship._

It was the last week of July, almost two weeks before I had to fly back to Cambridge, when Edward and I broke up. It was also the night that both Edward and I lost our virginity.

Breaking up with Edward had been the hardest thing I had, or ever will do, in my life. It was a mutual agreement. Our futures weren't going to be able to coexist without one of us giving up their dreams. I had wanted to stay in the United Kingdom for the rest of my life. Maybe become a teacher or write a novel. Meanwhile, Edward had found his home in Forks. He had hoped that when we both graduated from college, we would move back to Forks and get married. Our plans for the future were too different, and we couldn't find mutual ground. It all led up to the conclusion of Edward and Bella.

Edward and I had been sitting, ironically, on the swings at the park when we broke up.

Throughout the previous weeks leading up to the break up, tensions had been higher than ever. I think both of us had wished that we would have been able to settle back into the same routine we had during high school, but we were too different now.

I had changed drastically in some ways while I was away at college; I was now less serious and more carefree than I had ever been. I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life; I was living in the moment, going with the flow. I had achieved my lifelong goal by attending Cambridge and now I didn't know what I was going to do with my future. I had a few ideas, but none of it was set in stone.

Edward was the complete opposite; he wanted to be anchored down to something, someone, and someplace. He had his whole future mapped out in front of him. He had planned for us to be married the summer after we graduated, then move in together after the honeymoon. By this time he would have had a job at the hospital, working alongside his father.

He had foolishly hoped that I would have wanted to stay in Forks my whole life. But I was a dreamer now; if I made it into Cambridge I could do anything. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life trapped in Forks, living the life of a stay at home mother; surrounded by the same people every day. I wanted to go out and see the world before I settled down to have children.

But Edward didn't want any of that. I had said that Edward was too good to give up what he wanted and deserved, and he said the same about me. Both of us had been too stubborn and selfish to give into the other person. In mine and Edward's situation, true love didn't conquer all.

Charlie had been gone for the weekend. Edward and I had both agreed that we wanted to be each other's first. We had already had so many firsts together, why not just complete the list? First date, first kiss, first love. Now we would be the first person either of us made love to.

It had been slow and awkward at first, but that only made it more special. In the morning, before he left, I gave Edward his promise ring back. The ring had sat upon my finger for more than a year and my finger had felt bare without it.

I called the airport and exchanged my flight for an earlier one. I knew that staying in Forks wasn't the right thing for me to do. Staying would have only caused both Edward and I more pain than either of us deserved. We would always love each other, but our futures didn't match up right.

I had called Lena ahead of time and told her what had happened. She said how sorry she was and offered that I could stay with her family before school started again. Once my plane touched down in London, I called a cab that was going to be taking me to Lenny's home in Shrewsbury.

As I was sitting in the backseat of a rather smelly taxi, I thought about my saying goodbye again. Alice had understood why I chose to leave early, even though she didn't like it. I felt like Alice and I didn't have enough time to reconnect. We had only had a few short months together before I once again said goodbye, this time earlier then we had anticipated. She would have Jasper to help her through the rest of her life.

As this thought ran through my mind I realized that most of my connections to Forks had been severed. If I was being honest, I didn't care that much about most of my friends from high school. Edward and Charlie were the only things that had been tying me to Forks. Alice and Jasper had never planned on staying in Forks after they graduated; they both wanted to live in a large city.

I felt empty, but relieved with this realization. I knew that I would have to go back to Forks sometime, and if I was there it was inevitable that I would see Edward. The thought of it made my stomach clench. as if it were just pummeled by a boxer. People always talk about how strange it can be, seeing your first love for the first time after the break up.

As I looked out my window at the Tudor style buildings, a saying that I had once heard passed through my mind: _Some people are meant to stay in your life, others are just meant to make an appearance. _

It was the middle of March when I met Beau. I had been walking to my literature class when I literally ran into him. I hadn't been paying attention, I was texting Alice. I was going to leave for Forks the next week for spring break. I had been hoping that Edward wouldn't be there, and that coming home for spring break would be enough to hold my dad over until next year. I didn't want to see Edward yet, talking to him on the phone had been awkward enough.

I was asking Alice if she knew if Edward was going back to Forks for spring break, when I ran into what felt like a brick wall. I looked up and saw a man who I had seen around campus a couple of times. He was tall with dark mahogany hair and blue eyes.

"Whoa ,there," he said as he helped steady me. When he looked at my face he smiled. Wow, he had a great smile. "Hey, I'm Beau." I guess he was trying to act cool and casual, but it wasn't working for him.

Chuckling to myself, I stuck my hand out and said, "Bella."

"Ah, what a perfect name for such a beautiful woman," he said as he shook my hand. His hand practically swallowed mine; it was so large and masculine, whereas mine was small and feminine.

"Well, Beau, I happen to think that your name suits you rather well also."

Was I flirting? I hadn't done any of this since Edward and I had broken up. Yes, Lena had set me up on a few dates, but I was never very willing. But there was something different about Beau. Was it his charming smile? Or the fact that he was trying so hard?

Still smiling, Beau looked down at me and said, "Well, beautiful Bella, would you like to have coffee some time?"

I agreed, we exchanged phone numbers, and I was off to my class. I couldn't believe that I had just been asked out.

After spring break, Beau called me, asking if I would take him up on his offer. I said yes, and we planned to meet each other at the Indigo Coffee House on Friday night. Edward hadn't been in Forks over spring break, but Alice and Jasper had driven up from LA for their spring break. I spent the majority of my time in Forks hanging around with Alice and Jasper. I felt like the third wheel the entire time, and it only made me miss Edward more. Being in Forks brought back too many memories.

After two and a half weeks of torture, I had been ready to head back to school and get over Edward.

On Friday after my last class of the day I headed back to my dorm to get ready. Lena was already waiting out front for me; she had agreed to help me get prepared for my date. I had no clue what I was doing; the only person I had ever gone on a date with, that I cared about, was Edward. But Edward and Beau were two completely different people.

In the end, I was wearing faded skinny jeans and a green satin blouse with a black belt cinched around my waist. To top it all off I had black ballet flats and a long, silver chain necklace with a few charms dangling on the end. My hair had been curled slightly, and I was wearing a light amount of eyeliner.

Feeling pretty had always boosted my confidence, and tonight was no different. I was ready for this date.

When I arrived at the coffee house, Beau spotted me right away. Once I reached the table, Beau stood up, told me how pretty I was, and kissed my cheek. When he pulled away there was a slight tingly feeling where his lips had been. As I looked up into his eyes I noticed that within the blue there were tiny flecks of brown.

The rest of the night was wonderful. We stayed at the coffee house until it closed, and when we finally left, Beau walked me back to my building. He kissed me lightly, chastely on the lips. It was our first kiss and it was fantastic.

Beau left after he made sure that I was in my dorm alright. I leaned against my door and sighed. Tonight had been better than I imagined. We had talked about everything and nothing at the same time. I didn't want to get ahead of myself, but I could see Beau and I having a future together.

I went back to Forks earlier than I had planned. I had also seen Edward sooner than I had hoped. The United Kingdom didn't celebrate the Fourth of July, but I had my entire life. I didn't want this year to be the first year that I didn't celebrate my country's independence. So on July first I hopped on a plane and flew back to the States. Beau, who I had been dating seriously for almost three months, had offered to try to celebrate the holiday with me, but I knew he wouldn't be able to have the right amount of enthusiasm that the Fourth of July deserved.

As I was sitting in the uncomfortable airplane seat, I realized that it appeared every time I got on a plane heading to Forks I was nervous, and it was almost always relating to Edward. This would be the first time I was going to see Edward after we split up. We had talked on the phone a couple times; once over the Christmas holiday, and again in the beginning of May. But this was going to be different. Face to face conversations have always been different than over the phone conversations.

During our phone conversation in May, Edward and I had talked, uncomfortably, about other relationships we had tried having. Edward told me about what he called 'the strangest date of his life'; he had gone out with a woman named Irina who had referred to herself in third person. Edward even went as far as mimicking her for me. I thought it was hilarious hearing Edward talking in a high voice saying things like, "Irina doesn't eat carbs" and "Oh no, Eddy, Irina doesn't go to movie theaters." Three important things to know about Edward: One, he loves eating; he also loves girls who can eat just as much as he can. Two, never call Edward Eddy. Finally, Edward's ideal date is simple: going to dinner and a movie. Apparently this girl and Edward never made it past the first date.

For some reason, that made me feel slightly happy on the inside. I knew it was wrong to be clinging onto Edward like this. I was just being selfish. I was hoping that maybe seeing Edward would be able to give me some closure. I was pretty sure that Beau was hoping for the same thing. About a month into my relationship with Beau we shared with each other everything about our previous relationships. I had only had one relationship; Beau had many more, but only one serious relationship. It had lasted for one year, his junior year of high school. The girl's name was Nora. We showed each other pictures of our previous significant others. As soon as I saw a picture of Nora, my self esteem took a major blow. She was just as stunning as Rosalie.

Beau told me that their relationship ended when he caught Nora cheating on him with another boy from school. This only made me hate Nora even more.

When the plane landed I wasn't the first person off the plane. In fact, I was one of the last ones off. I had no reason to be hurrying. After all, I had no one to be hurrying to this time.

With the number of times I had been to this airport I now, knew my own way to the luggage claim. No one was there to greet me; no hugs or kisses.

It was inevitable that if I was going to be hanging out with Jasper and Alice, I was going to be hanging out with Edward. Once the Fourth of July rolled around I had settled back into the routine that I had every time I came to Forks. I would wake up in the morning, make breakfast for Charlie, and then drive over to Alice's house for the day. The Fourth of July was different though. The whole town of Forks had celebrations throughout the entire day. It would start with a pancake breakfast hosted by the fire department. This was always Edward's favorite part of the day; he could eat as many pancakes as he could fit into his stomach. It always ended the same every year. Edward would have a stomach ache and I would tell him to suck it up, it was a holiday and I was going to celebrate it, with or without him.

The day always ended the same also. There were fireworks that were shot out of a large clearing. Our group of four sat on a quilt that Esme had made when we were in tenth grade. Alice and Jasper sat on their side, cuddling and whispering cheesy, romantic things to each other. Them sitting there like that only made things more awkward for Edward and me.

By the time the finale rolled around I was blushing bright red and Edward was fidgeting from where he sat on the blanket. Sitting so close to each other made the constant electricity between us more prominent. I only felt this sometimes when I was with Beau.

On July tenth I flew back to the United Kingdom. Saying goodbye to everyone had become so common that it was hardly even sad. When I went to claim my luggage I heard an excited voice behind me, calling my name. Turning around I saw Beau and Lena running top speed towards me. When they reached me I was pulled into a group hug. As they pulled away, I looked into their shining faces and tried to convince myself that this was where I belonged. I loved the both of them; I was thrilled to be back here. So why did a part of me want to go back to Forks?

It was my final year of college, and Beau and I had been dating for one year and ten months. I had my suspicions about a special dinner that Beau was taking me on. He asked me out a month in advance. This was strange for him, especially because he asked me out for coffee. Lena had been constantly smiling and acting strange whenever I was around her. She had also been dropping hints that I don't think she told Beau about; in one weeks time she had given me a bridal magazine, claiming that she just wanted to "look for the future", practically made me borrow her blue sweater, and she had been humming the wedding march. Lena had never been good at keeping secrets.

In all, I wasn't entirely surprised when Beau got down on one knee in the middle of the Indigo Coffee House, the place of our first date. Everyone around us had turned to stare, and when they saw Beau pull out a white box with a blue ribbon, the whispers started. Granted, there hadn't been that many people in the restaurant, but the ones that were there stared as if their lives depended on it.

Looking deeply into my eyes, Beau said, "Bella, I can no longer imagine a life where you aren't beside me. I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of forever. Will you marry me?"

Smiling a smile that stretched across my entire face, I whispered, "Yes. Yes, of course!"

Beau picked me up in a bear hug and passionately kissed me. Everyone in the restaurant started clapping. The waitress, who was a girl we went to school with, started whistling and cat calling. I pulled away, blushing, but smiling. I was in a complete state of jubilance.

As we were about to leave the restaurant, the waitress handed us our usual coffee orders in a to- go cup, claiming that they were on the house, our first engagement present. We walked the entire way back to our dorms in a complete state of bliss. We were in our own bubble and nothing would ruin it.

As I was going to sleep that night, a thought ran through my mind that did pop my bubble of perfection. I had started comparing my engagement tonight and when Edward gave me his promise ring. I hadn't even realized what I was doing until I heard the creak of a tree outside my window, shaking me out of my thoughts. It was normal right? Remembering your first love?

Almost a year after Beau had proposed to me we sent out the wedding invitations. The card was made of thick white card stock paper. Across the top it read in swirly blue letters, _You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of Isabella Marie Swan and Beau Landon Howard._ Around the edges were the wedding colors, Robin Egg Blue and Bourbon Brown. The rest of the invitation went on to talk about the date and time and everything else.

The wedding date was set for June 18th in Forks. Everyone who would be attending the wedding from the UK had enough money to fly from London to Washington, but all of my friends and relatives from Forks didn't have the money to fly to London for my wedding. Because of this we had to plan for the wedding to be in Washington, and when Beau visited Forks with me over Christmas he fell in love with it.

The wedding was planned to be extravagant, as was tradition in Beau's family. Beau's family was direct descendents from an ancient noble family, although they had no titles. They were sitting on enough money they could support a small country, so the cost of our wedding was nothing to them. His parents were thrilled that Beau had chosen to marry me; for some reason they adored me.

My dad had tolerated Beau when we visited, but he wasn't thrilled about him. Dad had always been rooting for Edward, so he saw any other guy as a threat. Dad had known Edward since he was young; he trusted him. He didn't know Beau yet; he had only met him once. This made him not trust Beau at all. This was horrible for me. I was a daddy's girl, and his opinion meant a lot to me.

All of the hotels around Forks had been booked to the max. Some of my closest friends were staying with me at my dad's house. Among them were Lena, Will, and Dylan. Being back in my childhood home was strange, knowing that within days I would no longer carry the last name Swan as I had my whole life.

I had been thinking about Edward a lot. Wondering about how different my life would be if I had agreed to his plan for the future. Would we be married by now? Probably, maybe we would have already been thinking about kids. Sometimes I wish that I had chosen to stay with Edward. Maybe I would have been happier. The time that I was with Edward was the happiest time of my life.

Edward had just finished his last year of college in the spring, and was planning to head back again for graduate school. I could tell he was uncomfortable being around me or anyone else who I had brought with me from Britain. It was understandable why, we had been promised to be engaged and now I was planning to marry someone else, only three years after our break up.

Alice had kept me filled in on Edward's love life since I was too chicken to ask him myself. She told me about one girl, Katie, who Edward dated for nearly seven months. They had broken up a few days after they graduated. Apparently Edward told her he knew that long distance relationships didn't work, and that it would save them both a lot of pain if they split up before they left.

I felt horrible that I was part of the reason they broke up; in a round- about way. Our relationship hadn't worked over a long distance and now Edward had lost all faith in them. Alice assured me that he was probably right; most long distance relationships didn't work. But I still had a nagging feeling that I was partly to blame.

It was June eighteenth. The day that I was going to be married to Beau. The day that I was forever going to become Bella Howard.

All of my bridesmaids were surrounding me in my tiny bedroom; trying to squeeze me into my pristine white wedding gown. I felt slightly guilty that my gown was the whitest of whites when I knew I wasn't a virgin. I hadn't been for three years.

My gown was simple satin with no straps and a mermaid style train. There was delicate beading around the bodice area that made the gown appear very flowy when I walked.

I wasn't able to decide between my two best friends as to who would be my maid of honor, so I had two. My cousins, Emma and Jenna, and Beau's younger sister, Maisee were my bridesmaids. All of them were wearing dark blue strapless gowns that were tight around the waist, and then flowed freely down their legs.

Beau had chosen his cousin, and best friend, Banning to be his best man. Among his groomsmen were Will and Dylan, and Beau's cousin, Ross. Because I had two maids of honor, Banning would have to walk down the aisle with Alice and Lena, and he didn't seem too disappointed about that.

We had spent all morning being dressed and made up by professionals that Ilene, Beau's mother, had insisted on. In the end I looked like I like a bride out of a bridal magazine; something that I thought would have been impossible. But you know what they say, beauticians can work miracles.

By one o' clock, my palms were sweating. Alice and Lena were stopped next to the minister, and when the wedding march started playing everyone in the audience rose to their feet.

My dad held my hand securely the entire way down the aisle, an aisle that seemed to stretch on for miles. When I finally reached the alter my dad took my hand and symbolically placed it in Beau's. Dad whispered to Beau in a voice that was holding back tears, "Take care of my little girl."

The minister, who was Angela Weber's father, went through the normal sayings, and, surprisingly, I managed to say "I do" at the correct part. After we kissed, we turned to face our audience. Everyone stood up and started clapping; all eyes were on us, making me blush. But there was one particular set of eyes that I knew were only looking at me. I spotted him immediately; he was sitting in the front row next to my dad. When I looked at him I saw tears in his eyes, but I knew it was for a completely different reason than everyone else in the crowd.

My feet felt like they were about to fall off from all of the dancing I had been doing. It had started out with Beau and I dancing, then my dad and I. Now it felt like I had danced with everyone in the room. My body may have felt that I danced with everyone, but my mind knew I had not.

I was twirling awkwardly with my childhood friend, Jacob, when I heard a melodic voice ask if he could interrupt. Jacob, who had filled out since I last saw him, stepped away from me, but not before he could give me a peck on the cheek and an over the top smile with dimples.

"I believe congratulations are in order, Mrs. Howard," Edward said, trying to be casual, but I could see the pain behind the words and the smile.

"You don't have to do that, Edward," I said as I twined my arms around his neck.

He placed his hands on my waist while shrugging and saying, "I don't know what you're talking about, Bella."

I let the subject drop, knowing it wasn't worth it. Instead, I concentrated on how easy it was to be dancing with Edward, as it always had been.

I was startled out of my thoughts by Edward talking. "So, you ready for married life?"

I shrugged my shoulders noncommittally. If I was being honest, no I wasn't ready; I didn't think I would ever be ready.

"You're not, are you?" Edward asked softly. He was still able to read me so well after so many years apart. He had always known exactly what I was feeling even if I didn't. It was the same with me. I was always able to know what he was going to say before he said it. Apparently that had not changed.

Smiling sadly, I shook my head. "No, not at all. But, how hard can it be?"

He just looked at me with an intense look and I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking about how we would have been as a married couple. What our wedding would have looked like. Maybe even what our kids would have looked like. It would not have surprised me; we had talked about children before the break up. I had an image in my mind of toddler with Edward's bronze hair and shining green eyes, and my heart- shaped face and narrow chin.

Not answering my question, he just shrugged his shoulders again, looking away from me and over my shoulder. I was staring at him, noticing the subtle changes in his face since I had last seen him this close; his face had lost some of its childish roundness, it was more angular now, he had a five o' clock shadow on his chin that only made him appear better looking, if that were possible. He suddenly said, "He's a lucky man to have caught you. A great accomplishment if you ask me."

Looking down with a red tint to my cheeks, I just shook my head. "No, I'm lucky to have found him."

Edward asked seriously, "Bella, are you happy? Truly happy?"

I didn't know how to answer him. Was I happy? Absolutely. But I had been happier in my life. I had been happier when I was with him. But I was happy nevertheless. Finally able to convince myself of the answer I answered him, "Yes, I am. Beau makes me happy, Edward. He makes me laugh, and he makes me smile."

We were still spinning in circles on the edge of the dance floor when Edward stopped and looked deeply into my eyes. His face and mine were only centimeters apart. No one was watching us. Edward said to me, "It should have been me."

Looking up at him, blinking through my tears I nodded my head and whispered, "It should have been you."


End file.
